Silas Cavanagh

[Silas Cavanagh]

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Full Name: Silas Logan Cavanagh | Alias Silas, Dr. Cavanagh

B i r t h d a y : 0 3 - 0 2 - 8 5  |  G e n d e r :  M a l e

Status: Alive | Lives: Still Sparrow Apartments | Occupation: Therapist
Sexuality: Straight | Nationality: Irish/English/A tiny bit French

Mother: Harriett Cavanagh, age 54, Maiden Name: Duncan
Father: Logan Cavanagh, age 57
Siblings: Silas is an only child 

Personality: Silas is very calm, he never lets his temper get the best of him. He is a logic at heart and always thinks everything through before he does something. He is very involved in his work, and never really seems to be able to leave it at the office. He spends many nights thinking about his patients, probably one of the reasons he has trouble focusing on himself positively, on the other hand, Silas is very self-critical. Especially since Abigail he always goes through everything he says afterwards and even those small details can get to him and make him stay up during the night. Silas is a good listener, probably something that a therapist has to be, but he is always trying to figure you out. He has a good memory (at least most of the time, not saying he has a photographic memory) and he sees you. But even though, Silas isn't an unsure person, even if it may seem as a conflict against his... Need to feel accuracy. He isn't someone who just follows the wind, he stands up for what he's thinking and is surprisingly calm around mentally unstable peoples. During his studies and internships at different criminal wards in Ireland, he was always one of the few who didn't flinch away from meeting with condemned murderers, rapist etc. He saw them as a chance to find details and clues about another part of life, and even though he hated what they had done with all of his being, he was still fascinated with what drove someone to do something so awful.

Silas is very intelligent, call it book-smart if you want, but he has a lot of knowledge about culture, history, philosophy, science, religion etc. Considering that he has been studying for six years and then moved on to working with a subject that really interests him and doing research on the side, maybe it isn't that hard to get why. Silas know a few languages as well, such as little French and Latin. He also understands Irish or Gaelic, but he can't really talk it fluently, his parents does and he gets what they are saying but he never really needed to learn it for himself, all though it has always been on his bucket list. At the same time Silas can bee quiet street smart as well, of course it isn't his best attribute because he really is pretty uptight, but he gets people. He understands and he is very considerate. He has an easy time putting himself in other peoples shoes.

Silas have never gotten the diagnose, but being a therapist himself he have pretty much given himself it. Silas thinks he suffers from mild hypersexuality, witch is being addicted to sex. It isn't that big of a problem, only thing is he always seem to feel most connected to someone through sexual activity, but after that he seem to not be able to keep the relationship going. It kinda ends there. And now, after Abigail, it has probably gotten even worse because he is scared to "fuck someone up" like he thinks he did with her. He just have problems letting himself relax around people and actually feel something except fascination. He has trouble letting people know what's going on in his head and making friends is pretty much out of the question. He just can't relax enough to do that, but who knows, there always has to be a first, right?

Silas doesn't like when things are in the right place. He thrives in clutter and materially chaos. His mother used to say that it was his unconscious way of showing his cluttered mind, which pretty much was an excuse to turn to God - everything pretty much was an excuse to turn to God in Silas family. He tries to keep his office somewhat in order, just to make his work process easier but it is always on the edge of a holy mess and sometimes he just can't find the strength to even care. Silas relationship to his parents is in a way complex. He loves them with his whole heart, his mother, Harriet is probably the nicest woman you can ever meet and his father, Logan shares Silas interest in philosophy. The thing that most of the time gets in the way is religion, which is one of the reasons Silas is so negative set on everything religion. When Silas try to bring up questions about God or the disadvantages with the catholic church, his parents turns him down instantly. It is just something you don't discuss in the Cavanagh family. This has led to that Silas some what feels that he can't be himself around them, he always has to censor himself around them and act like a "normal catholic good boy" as his mother puts it. It was probably why he didn't really have that much of a trouble leaving Ireland for USA. But he still loves them, they are his parents after all, and he finds himself missing them from times to times.

Background: Silas grew up in Ireland, on Achill Island. His parents raised him in a very strict catholic way but because he was an only child they also spoiled him with love at any chance they could. His mother, Harriet Cavanagh, worked as a painter and his father, Logan Cavanagh was the local postman around their neighborhood. Silas childhood was pretty normal, but because of his parents strict religious believes there were thing you just didn't discuss. Sexuality, the existent of God and the meaning with life. So Silas had to look else where for answers. He soon fell in love with philosophy; Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Franz Kafka, Judith Butler and Lenin became some of his favorites. He became almost obsessed to finding his meaning with life. He knew it wasn't anything to do with religion even though his parents tried to steer him into that field. He knew he didn't believe in the god that his parents were preaching about, there where too much information missing from their idea of life.
 
His interest in philosophy wasn't something he bragged about, being a teenager in a small town didn't really allow him to stand out way too much. So he lived on a pretty normal life, he was a good boy who did his home works before sneaking out of the window and meeting up with friends in the town center late at night. I would be lying if I said that Silas was popular with the girls, but it wasn't like they avoided him like the plague, they just didn't really seem to get to know him good enough for him to be able to fall in love completely. It was as if he wasn't sure how to connect to people his own age. But he still had a couple of girlfriends and they did pretty much everything a girlfriend and a boyfriend does to each other.

When he turned eighteen he enrolled for a psychologist school in Dublin and got in after his second try. Suddenly Silas lived in a much bigger community than he was used to and University life took him by surprise. He started partying quiet a lot, as you do while studying. Medical students have the best drugs, they said and Silas could absolutely agree about that. He was still into philosophy and spent most of his free time reading. Even though he finally found a place where people could match up with his interest he still felt as if he couldn't let them in completely, it always felt as if they had a wall up and Silas, who always wanted to have all the facts, wanted to know everything about everyone. He wanted to know what made that person work. What made them get up out of bed every morning and what made them cry them self to sleep late at nights. But he never seemed to be able to get close enough to someone to feel that connection, except through sex. Silas realized after sex, at least after sex between two grown ups, how fragile people became, and also how fragile he was able to be in front of others. As a result from that, Silas started having sex with almost all of his friends and he soon realized how he could not live without it. There was just something, the passion, the feeling, the connection, it was addicting. It was as if he was searching for the last couple of clues to his big realization. 

Anyways, Silas graduated from University when he was 25 with good grades. He soon got a job over in the states and moved there that summer. He got a small position at a small psychology ward. He didn't get to do any big jobs but at least it was something. He lived in a small apartment and didn't really socialize that much outside of job. The stress of leaving his country to a new one got the best of him and he started popping pain pills, mostly to remind him of his University days, but also because they made him so darn calm. A year after he was introduced to Abigail, a patient with severe depression. There was something about her, she didn't say a word even though Silas saw her pretty much every day in months, until she finally asked for a cigarette during the last couple of minutes of their 25th meeting. Silas asked her why now, and Abigail answered that they had to celebrate that he had been so persistent. Then she didn't say anything for another week, before she all of a sudden got of from the coach during one of their weekly meetings, walked over to Silas and kissed him.

Silas, who was fresh out of medical school and also quiet young, didn't really know how to react. So he tried to act like nothing happened at their next meeting. During that meeting, Abigail slowly started opening up. Silas found out that she never met her mother and her father left her at her grandmother when she was very young, she was raped when she was ten by a friend to the family who was protected by her grandmother. It wasn't the first time Silas been in contact with rape victims but there was something about Abigail that made him feel so incredible sorry for her. By the look of her, Silas would've never guessed that she was so hurt inside if he didn't look at her medical records. Abigail was one of the most strong headed girls he had ever met and slowly but surely she started opening up to Silas. Six months into their meetings, Abigail and Silas relationship moved to the next level. They started meeting outside of the office, all though Silas knew that was against his policy. As I said, he was young and suddenly he felt connected with someone outside off himself. There was something about her he just couldn't explain or shake off. Before Silas knew it, he was falling for her and one night they ended up in bed together.

Their relationship is probably the closes Silas have ever gotten to loving someone, he cared like crazy about her. Only thing was, Abigail just saw him as a one thing only. And her depression got worse, mostly because Silas couldn't really help her the way he would if he had acted professional. A year into their meetings, Abigail killed herself. Silas was obviously devastated, but he forced himself to act professional about it, he couldn't afford to loose his job and even though he wanted to he felt as if he couldn't tell anyone about their relationship or go to her funereal. Suddenly, Silas felt scared about what he might cause while rambling inside someones head, especially when they had a mental hold on him. So he decided to leave the clinic and move. Luckily he got a job at a small clinic in Norden a of couple months later and found a quiet nice (actually kinda shitty) apartment near it, and even though he is not all there mentally, he is slowly getting back to normal. Or whatever Silas ever was before Abigail, at least he's trying, the pills helps.

Appearance: First thing about Silas, he is very tall. 195 cm to be exact. He has medium long, brownish hair and dark blue eyes. He wears glasses most of the time but he can see kinda good without them. When he's working he'll most likely wear white shirts and slacks. But when he's home alone he is probably in a grandpa shirt and jeans. He isn't very adventurous in his choice of outfits and some people would probably call him pretty rigid, which is somewhat accurate as well. He looks like the perfect son in law. Because Silas has trouble falling asleep most nights, thinking too much about work, he can look a bit ragged. Especially when he skips shaving and he has a bit of a stubble. Other than that he is quiet slender, thanks to his height. He has broad shoulders after a long carrier of swimming in his youth. Now, if Silas ever finds the time to exercise he is probably at the gym or out running.

He has a few freckles on his shoulders which he inherited by his mother, other than that he is the spitting image of his father. When Silas is working in his office he is most likely having a cigarette between his fingers. He started smoking when he moved to Dublin and it soon became an habit he couldn't live without. He try to make sure not to smoke in front of his patients or coworkers though. Silas voice is very similar to Gaspard's (example) except of course the french accent. Silas's irish accent isn't quiet as strong as for example his parents, it is more British in a way but there are traces of his Irish inheritance. His voice is very deep and raspy and he often uses difficult words and philosophical terms. Some would probably call his voice a bit snobbish, but it doesn't mean that Silas can't relax and talk about mundane things as well. You will probably never hear Silas swear though, unless he is really pissed off.

Face Claim: Gaspard Ulliel | Played By: Sara | Created: 18/03/2014 

[Sara]

[Silas Cavanagh]

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